Monday, August 08, 2005
sIaNz...
omg!! its was so funnie todae... haha... all the teacher did up a show ar... veri cute =) haha... everyone was like luffin lor... n the break dance tt the fusion group dance was cool too... =P haha... then came the quiz... i was like out of 10 onli like 2 or 3 correct... ha! omg... hmmm... then so lame lor... was late todae... woke up late -_- haha... so pig... if knew hor... juz continus slpin la... haha... n guessed wad lor... when i wore the pants... i relised it was mi mum!! i was like oh no!!! wheres mine... n i could not find it... n late... so i juz left wearin her pants... but her pants were nice too... so it was ok la... haha... but it was sort of too huge for mi... like anytime can pull it off leh... haha... pls... size 38... way too huge for mi ma... haha... hmmm then ning was like daoin mi... dnt noe wads wrong wif her oso... sae hi ignore mi... then added left mi bag at the chair... dnt noe wad she angry abt oso... but i dnt reallie care too... so nvm lor... its like i din do anyting lor... like the other time oso... tt time mi heart hurt so much becos of wad she did... daoin mi... i trusted her so much... then she juz dao mi like dat... hurt mi alot... to bits... almost cried... but tt was in the past... then now kenna again... sort of used to it liao... so... nvm lor... haiz... juz dnt noe wad shes doin... wanted our friendship to go bac to as before... but she's not doin anyting to help... so nvm lor... forget it... (jacQ!! cool down!!!) maybe its mi fault too... but i oso dnt noe wad i did wad... wad i do... juz tell mi straight to mi face k... n if its mi fault... i will apologise...haiz... then went out wif wan lin n janice... it was a bored dae... so bored i tell u... we did nuthin but walk n walk n walk... haha... but there some funnie times too la... made mi chase them... haha... oh man... feel so slpy now... haha... gonna haf a little nap soon... hahaha... so slpy! *YaWnS~* oh man... slpy! haha... hmmm... wake up le... muz study... haha... hmmm... yeah... i dnt noe wad to write leh... juz so hurt by her... hurt... not 1st time... but no matter wad still hurt ma... if someone did it to her... dao her n stuff... she will not like it oso wad... then y is she still doin it to others... i dnt noe y leh... haiz... forget it la... dnt tok le... bye =P
hmmm... then ytd mama was angry oso... cos of wad? cos i din bath b4 she came home... i was like -_- then she was so angry... sae did not wanna care abt mi... actuallie if she reallie din care... i will feel so much more frrdom... the stress she is givin mi n the naggins n the tok she gif mi makes mi not wanna study at all... imagine ur parent tellin u u sure go ite one.. how would u feel lor... sad rite.. duh~ tts wad mi mum does... she do not gif encouragements... but rather words tt hurt u like needles pokin into ur heart... tts y i feel so sad always... like a stranger in front of her... i no longer could tok to her as frrely as i can... i used to ba able to tell her all the truth... but now... i could onli hide n lie... u tink i feel good abt it... of cos not rite... hu would feel good liein... no one does... tts one of the factor tt *pulls* mi down.. one of the heavy factor makin mi dnt feel like studyin... its like there's a hole in the middle of my heart... cause juz by her words... so mani hurts by so mani diff ppl... guess... tis is the mani *wonders* of life... the part n parcel of goin thru life too... haiz... but its juz too much for mi to handle... but i'm still goin on strong.. i'm fine... still can go on... juz wonderin... wonderin... if... haiz... forget it... it will nvR happen too...
tears fillin in mi heart...
i laugh n y do i cry inside...
tinkin of all the tings everyone had done...
juz pierced another hole in mi heart...
cryin miself to slp each nite...
tinkin of a better solution...
when it all ends to nuthin...
tts how i feel n tink right now...
right here... right at this moment...
if onli u all could tell mi wad to do...
to resolve all the problems...
i would...
try mi best to fulfill it...
but everyting u al did...
hurt mi more... n more...
to the point i can take it no more...
(composed n copyright by yAn)
______________________
Ai Ni || 2:37 PM 
