Friday, August 05, 2005
oPpS...
lolX... goin on a blind date on mon... but still considerin la... haha... so funnie... i dnt noe him at all... onli noe he's name is sky n h is from hscs... haha... wonder how he is like... but its like diaox lor... juz knew him ytd... haha... actuallie is a yr ago... durin flag dae ar... one big group ma... then... got to noe afew ppl lor... its was a fun dae though but i guess... tt dae when mi n ning went to meet aden n wl... we should not haf go... cos... i no longer tok to aden... guess he haf forgotten abt mi... but he's kinda cute... haha... but wl was cuter... but he's makin mi friend hurt n sad... he cannot be forgiven!!! haiz... ning.. maybe is u tink too much leh... but i admit too... he changed alot... too much way too much... breakin ur heart... there are happie memories.. but there are sad too... cherish the good... n forget the bad ba... haiz... i noe how it feels... cos i've gone thru it too...ytd... juz listen to some music... made mi cry... i dnt noe y... but tears juz trickled down mi cheeks... the song made mi feel sad... haiz... still dnt reallie trust ppl leh!!!! wad to do... haiz haiz... i wanna go to fop tonite!!! then i ask mama... guess wad she sae lor... " prelims when ar??" straight away noe oh no!! cannot go -_- haiz... n i realised... the feelings i haf for him is no longer there... its juz i adorn n admire him ba... actuallie i dnt reallie noe wad i feel... cos mi mind tells mi i dnt like him... but mi heart... saes i dnt noe... haiz... its a mix feelin... how i wish someone can juz hold mi tightly in his arms... to juz comfort mi... haiz... n pig O comin le!!! concentrate on studies la dude... ha!... i feel so dumb n stupid at times... juz slackin mi way thru... i noe how much stuff i haf to do... how much stuff... studies... n work i muz work on... but i dnt feel the motivation... if it was 2 yrs ago... yeah... i would work for it... but i dnt noe wad's wrong wif mi... haiz... mama kope mi com n ground mi for too long liao... dnt haf the urge to plae com le... dnt even want to go out like i used to last time... can save money at least... haiz...juz realised how much i haf drifted from mi best friends... they no longer tell mi secrets nor do i... haiz!!!! hope it dosen;t change man... hope it goes bac to b4... to when we haf fun... when we were crazy... n when we knew everyting of each other... haiz... feel so distant from ning n joan le... haiz... dnt noe la!!! haiz!!! so mani fan nao leh!!!!! y sec 4 so stressed de... i dnt like tis type of life... so tired of it all... i wonder when i will peng kui lor... pull off the mask on mi face... n show the not so nice side of mi... lolX... i so bored... reallie reallie need someone to tok to... to relie on... to lean on... sometimes when i see guys wif broad n muscular shoulder... i wonder how it feels to hug from the bac... i wonder if its a warm feelin... it juz seems so safe... so safe.. reallie feel like screamin all mi stress away... still feel sometings is blockin mi 'heart' like a boundary there... wonder whn i will be free away from all these... its there... makin mi how to sae... sad... tied down... like a bird in a cage... or havin a rope tied to mi legs... tts all i can describe... the rest... i juz dnt noe how to sae... do love reallie exist...between us...do fate changes everyting...tt haf happened to us...izzit fate tt we met...or izzit juz coincidence??y did u make mi fall for u...makin mi suffer...i had to look at u at a dist...hopin tt u will turn n look bac to mi...tings tt u've promised b4...were juz empty promises...they've nvR existednor were they sincere...u treated mi like dirt... when i treated u like jewel...then why do i still...like u so...much more then i like miself...(composed n copyright by yAn) ______________________
Ai Ni || 4:12 PM 
