Saturday, January 15, 2005
fRi3NdS R???
i realised... how painful it is to be betrayed by friends...
i was betrayed b4... n hurt b4... but to be hurt once more... sux even more... betrayed by same person?? maybe...
i loved mi friends so much... how could they do these to mi... it hurt... truely... it does... i was rite in not trustin humans... wasn't i... is there anyone i can trust??? i dnt noe... maybe theres one mi didi... haha... tks ar...
last time whe i was in pri 4... when betrayed by friends... wtf... i'm cryin as i write lor... -_- cannot see properly... ha...when i was betrayed by friends... i ever thought... of killin... or committin suicide... wad a great way n fun... to juz jump n fall... rite... but then... its foolish too... as u juz dump all ur problem to ur family members... n to ppl hu truely loved u... but... tinkin of it... they will forget abt u soon rite... dnt worry... even thought i haf the thoughts of jumpin... i am not so dumb de ok... cos i noe... tomolo i sure ok de... i hope so... oh well... mi 10 oclock show gonna start... haha... a few mins more...
i used to tink... if onli i could revenge... but its not a nice feelin... it short of falls bac... or will backfire one... so u want... juz forgive n forget... as they will get bac wad they did to u... somehow... i am feelin so fragile now... i scared later mi mama see mi cry... i dnt wnt her or anyone to find out i am sad... i like to be strong... haha... tts y... i choose to haf a bad memory... actuallie i can rem things well one... like wad ppl sae to mi... i can rem it all... but i juz choose to forget... forgettin some impt things as well... haha... i hate friends... they r a bunch a evil creatures... dnt u tink so... crap... someone tokin to mi abt love love stuff now... oh well...
anyways... tis is mi last blog... love u yeah... blog... will get itchy hand to wanna blog... but yeah... i anna forget tis sad thing ba... so u better dnt miss mi yeah... maybe i will write a last one... like when i wrote a long one... when i 1st posted mi blog... =PpP
i nvR trusted any human friends... except fer... mi handbellers... but wad they did n sae n post... hurt mi... even h\though i did hurt them too... at least i did admit i am hu... but did they... no... they did not... they did it in a sly n dark way... the most hurtful n leathal weapon to hurtin someones feeling... the upest most... bad way...
but i tink... when i go bc to sch... i will continue to tok to them... onli wonderin if they are reallie true to mi...
actuallie can see some changes le... angie suddenly become so cold... like avoidin mi... wad fer... fer mi crushes or wad??? something i said... but wad did i do... tryin to destroy any confident n trust i haf in u guys... in juz a few words n sec??? wad r friends fer then... ha... tryin hard to hold bac mi tears... cos dnt wanna owe didi ice cream??? lolX... the worst ting is... i dnt noe hu to trust now... or hu to tok to... cos... i dnt haf any true friends yet????
moral of the story is... nvR to trust ur friends... cos... even relative or ur own blood... can betray u... keep things to urself??? everyones selfish ba... but... i noe mi... if i was on a road wif mi friends... n a car is comin towards us... i would push her away... n be the onli one to die ... ppl my tink i am evil... but yeah... i am tryin to gif them a bad impression... while protectin them... cos i tink... i dnt reallie noe how to intract wif other ppl... much less... show them how i reallie care fer them... seriously nd someone to tok to??? lolX... but dnt noe hu to call... hu is tt true friend fer mi... dnt noe wad to do... mind messed up... tink i not gonna smile fer a long time... even if i smile... it would be fake ba... tryin hard not to show ba... haha... i tink i can end le... wish mi all the best in o's yeah... 4eva will treasure mi relationship wif u... mR or mrs or ms blog... =PpP
send mi mi true friend...send mi a sign... haha or price charmin ok... lol... jkjk ... not prepared fer any stead stead things yet... =P Ai Ni... =P
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Ai Ni || 10:17 PM 
